A free short story

Stuck Inside These Four Walls

A free short story (read only) for you to enjoy.  Warning Adult reading content.

A sad story of teenage love between two passionate young people with tragic consequences and unexplained events.  Set initially in the UK in the early 1970’s.  Life certainly wasn’t easy for these young lovers and the truth even harder to accept.

……………………………………………………………….

Stuck Inside These Four Walls by Rosie

The Things We Do For Love

My friends Peter and Dawn were 15 when they first met.  Dawn was to be Peter’s first girlfriend and Peter was also her first boyfriend as well.  We went to different schools.  Dawn went to a comprehensive school and me and Peter went to a Grammar school.  The difference was in those days being, that kids who passed an exam for 11 year olds, went to Grammar schools.  They were supposedly a school with better education.

This is their story. From what I knew in those times and as told to me by Peter. His story of what were sad and tragic events which later in life unfolded.

We start their story from that time long ago while they were starry eyed young teenagers.  We were all from a quiet little town in the North West of England and the year is 1972.  Their story was revisited again more recently when sad events in Peter’s life unexpectedly returned to those earlier days.

Dawn was the slim, cheerful 5′ 2″ curly brown haired older daughter of her family which consisted of her parents and two girls.   An energetic young girl and sometimes excitably loud.  She was the eldest of the two teenage girls with her sister being just over one year younger.

Because she was the eldest of the sisters.  It was always Dawn who was the one who had to wash the dishes.  Clean the house and do the shopping.  Basically just do the general household chores to help with the day to day family life.  Nevertheless Dawn was a happy cheerful girl who always had a large beaming smile.

One day when all of our group of friends got together in a local park.  Dawn and Peter met for the first time and over the next few months their friendship developed into a relationship.

At first it was a typical young teenage girlfriend and boyfriend relationship that teenagers go through at that age.  They of course thought they were madly in love with each other.  But they got on well and were very close.  Understandably their affection for each other deepened intensely over the coming months and they became infatuated with each other.

But there was one big problem.  The disheartening thing for both of them was that Dawn was very rarely allowed out to go to the discos or the clubs that most teenagers did at that age.

It was even more maddening and also quite strange, that her younger sister was allowed to go with her friends to the same and similar clubs.  Dawn always had to stop at home to do various jobs for her parents on their instructions. The household chores never ended for Dawn.  Peter used to say.  “They treat her like a modern day Cinderella.” 

Dawn’s parents somehow found out that she now had a boyfriend.  Of course it was my friend Peter.  Her parents had occasionally seen him hanging around waiting at various places.  He was easily recognised.  Tall with long straight black hair and always wore big wide baggy denim jeans which had a high waist band.  The fashion of those times.  Dawns parents  had began to realise this young lad must have been waiting to meet their daughter.  They had also seen them together the odd time, when Dawn was supposed to be on errands.

These various places where Peter had been seen by Dawn’s parents.  Were where the pair had secretly arranged to meet whenever they could.  So her boyfriend discovery caused more problems for Dawn.  Her parents disagreed immediately with her having a boyfriend.  The boyfriend issue was then used as a further excuse to keep her in the house and not let her go out.

Dawn and Peter always managed to meet somehow.  Messages through friends. Or for Peter to be at a telephone kiosk to receive her phone call. (As there were no mobile phones in those days.)

Sometimes a predetermined place at a certain time for a rendezvous.  It was all very cloak and dagger stuff.  But very effective.  They would also skive off school so they could meet and spend time together.  Depending on the weather and circumstances.  They would go to Peter’s house or a friend’s house as often as they could.  Even sometimes they would take a day out together and travel to nearby towns and cities.  Mixing among the town or city crowds they would be safe from prying eyes and any school truancy officials.

In those days the schools truancy officers were the ones to really avoid.  They regularly scoured towns, cities and secret haunts for school age youngsters who should be in class.  If you were caught, your parents were notified and you and possibly your parents were in trouble.  So in the bustling town and city shopping centers, school kids could disappear into the crowds of shoppers.

Sometimes, if her father was not at home, as he sometimes worked away.  Dawn’s mother would let her go out to a disco as long as she was accompanied by her sister.  But teenagers being teenagers, can be very devious and very clever at working around their problems.  Dawn and Peter always managed to meet somewhere, somehow and at sometime.

Dawn’s restrictive life style was a problem and it was something that the doting pair had to accept, but they never gave into.

Strangely if the two young lovers had been allowed to see each other, just the same as other 15 year old teenagers did under their parents conditions.  And also if Dawn was allowed to go out and be the same as other 15 year old girls.  Then there would have been no secrecy.  No lies.  No deception and no missed school lessons.  Everything would have most likely been all ok.  Her parents stance was unexplained and actually didn’t make any sense.

So some days in desperation they would sit down and devise various ways to try to overcome this problem permanently.  They came up with young minded naive outrageous ideas.  They would plan to run away together and go to somewhere like London and get a flat.

In reality they had no idea, but they just wanted to be together and Peter could never understand her parents overly strict ways.  It was not the usual attitude of those times towards teenagers of that age.

In those days everybody of their same age and younger were out most nights at youth clubs and discos.  This was the norm in early 1970’s Britain.  Youth clubs and disco’s were fairly new for teenagers entertainment.

Some older looking teenagers were even drinking in pubs as well.  Drinking alcohol was normal for those who could pass for older young adults as it had been for years.  The worst that could happen would be they would be refused to be served in their local pubs.  It was all part of the game for fast learning soon to be adults.

It was in the early 1970’s.  A great time to be a teenager.  There was a kind of teenage revolution going in those days.  For the first time ever, everything appeared to be catered for those of that age.

Fashion, clothes, music, just about everything was designed for the new teenage lifestyle.  This was because there had never been so many  teenagers before, due to the high birth rate peaking towards the late 1950’s – early 1960’s in the UK.

So there was big money to be made from the huge amount of young people around.  And everything was about being a teenager.

Help! … We Need Somebody … Help!

After about six months of being in a relationship together, and unknown to them at the time.  Dawn had become pregnant at the beginning of that year.

Over the coming few months the teenage lovers slowly began to realise that there was a big chance Dawn was now pregnant.  Missed monthly periods and a tightening waistline were the evidence and awakening of something ‘not being quite normal’.

When they eventually understood their problem.  It was still a little confusing for them as they had always been careful.  Except of course for those times of no money to buy condoms. Also forgetfulness and extremely strong urges.  All of which now appeared to have caused their predicament.

“What are we going to do?”  Dawn would ask Peter increasingly often.  Peter’s naive and hopeful reply was.  “Ahh don’t worry something will work it’s way.  It always does.”  But in reality Peter of course didn’t believe that.  It was more to reassure Dawn.  He didn’t have any idea’s and just hoped something good would come along.

It was early Spring and Peter now 16 was due to take exams and leave school soon in a few months time.  He would later start work at my dad’s factory with me.  But Dawn was only 15 and would be for many more months to come.  Everything now had gone pear-shaped for them and they were actually in big trouble.

The trouble side of it didn’t concern the two of them in the slightest.  They were just happy spending time together. Innocently oblivious as to what was to happen.

If the truth was known.  A lot of it was that they just didn’t have a clue how to proceed.  They were both scared and didn’t know how to tell their parents this news.  Added to the problem they simply weren’t supposed to be together.  As far as Dawn’s parents were concerned. They thought they had done a very good job and had kept their daughter indoors away from teenage boys.

As the days passed.  The thoughts of ‘what are we to do?’ were forced to the front of their agenda.  So through reading various books and mostly the usual teenage junky magazines of those times.  It was discovered mentioned in one of them by some contributor to a teenage ‘problem page,’ that there was a way of ending a pregnancy.  Or so they innocently thought.   This method had apparently been used for many years.  This method was very basic.  Just a hot bath, a bottle of Gin and a knitting needle.

This information was very vague and never went into detail.  But the mention of it in the magazine was of course picked up by them both.

In those days there was no such thing as the Internet.  There wasn’t even such thing as a computer.  Any information that anybody ever found out about anything was from word-of-mouth, newspaper, or a visit to the library and books.  And of course the new teenage magazines which were mostly full of pop stars and teenage talk.

Ending a pregnancy by using a hot bath, Gin and a knitting needle certainly wasn’t the kind of information you could just pick up and read about in any of the aforementioned places.

There was also me.  And being their friend and the same age as Peter I was actually told of their predicament and sworn to secrecy.  But with no access to any different knowledge than them.  I was simply no use either.  I was also shocked and quite concerned for them both.

It was quite common for teenagers to get pregnant and have babies in those days.  But when it was your best mates and someone you knew.  It was still a bit of a jolt to your system.

Because their predicament was supposed to be a secret.  There just wasn’t anybody they could talk to about it.  So just no real information to find out about this pregnancy ending procedure.  The possibility of any other method or ways of dealing with the situation were also just zero.

They knew that Gin had a nickname and was also called ‘Mothers Ruin’.  So the two lovers just innocently assumed it was rightly called so for this particular reason and was going to be the answer to their problem.

There was an in-depth confused discussion regards the knitting needle.  But because of their young innocent years and lack of available information.  They discounted this implement as an error in the vague things they had read about.  Which of course hadn’t been properly explained in that junky teenage magazine.

Dawn wasn’t sure about ending the pregnancy and neither was Peter.  Most of the time they talked about having the baby and being together.  But it was the early 1970’s and knowledge about anything usually came from your parents and elders.  Those people were just not anywhere on the young couples ‘who can we ask?’ list of possible information sources.

A big decision for them and now they had vague information about a possible way out of their situation.  So one day a bottle of Gin was obtained from a local friendly drinks off-licence.  This popular little corner shop secretly served underage teenagers pretending to be over 18.  The day was chosen when they knew Peter’s house was empty as his parents were both at work.

The two of them were supposed to be at school.  The house was empty so the coast was clear.  The electric hot water heater was switched on for the hot bath which was part of this confusingly nervous procedure.

The hot bath was filled and cooled down to just bearable human temperature.  Meanwhile Dawn was downstairs knocking back in total half the bottle of Gin.  The rest they had decided to keep and drink for fun another day. This was not the usual alcoholic drink she had ever come into contact with at her young age.  After a few sips she found it totally revolting but drank it anyway.

About 15 minutes had gone by and she was well on her way to being very very drunk and managed to finish the last of the bottle.  She was almost paralytic and could hardly stand.  So Peter helped her into the very hot bath and she sat there turning red like a boiled lobster.  She lay in the bath naked, sweating and gradually getting used to the extreme hot temperature.

Peter spent this time talking merrily away laughing with the very drunk Dawn.  The pair joked about all things wondering with anticipation and confusion as to when something was to start to happen.  The cheerful talk then turned to the confusing topic of the knitting needle once more.

They knew Peter’s mother had plenty downstairs as she sometimes knitted clothing for presents.   But because they had no idea of how the knitting needle came into the procedure.  It was again discounted with and soon forgotten about in their nervous drunken adventure.

After about 45 minutes or more, as the bath was starting to turn cold.  A now very pink and wrinkled Dawn was beginning to sober up as she got colder.  Not too long later this much planned event was eventually given up as a bad idea.

The bewildering thought of how it was supposed to work and what was supposed to happen. Was passed over as a fairy story from a rubbish magazine.  So then they wondered and talked about what they would do next.

What they would do next was basically just nothing.  Simply because there was nothing they could do. All they did was spend more time together.  Because they knew in the back of their minds.  That eventually.  There was going to be a big lump of shit hit the fan and there was nothing they could do about it.

Some days Dawn would be very sad and occasionally burst into tears for no apparent reason.  Some days when upset.  She would be in pieces and wouldn’t answer Peter’s questions on what was the problem.

Peter most of the time comforted her as best he could and told her it will be ok.  He just put Dawn’s bad days down to worry and the upcoming explosive revelation that was going to overtake them.  It was better for him to comfort Dawn than think about what they were going to do.

Talk of having the baby seemed to at first comfort her, but not always.   Some days that idea would cause her to panic.  This confused Peter even more.  But he tried to reassure her about this as they both knew a few girls who had babies and some were even younger than Dawn.  He explained. They were all ok and it was to them, quite normal and accepted.  It was the 1970’s.  It was just what teenagers did.  They were all grown up in those days ….. or so they thought.

There May Be Trouble Ahead

As the weeks passed in Dawn’s house there began a curious investigation by her mother.  This was probably spurred on by the slight change in Dawn’s body shape.  Together with the lack of recent requests on weekly shopping lists for ‘womanly items’ or money from her mother for the same.

One day that dreaded conversation happened.  The one where Dawn’s mother asked her “Is everything ok?”  And.  “When was the last time you had a period?”

To which Dawn quickly replied.  “The other week!”   She was of course lying and with a sigh of relief, that was the end of that conversation.  But Dawn knew that was not the end and there would be more questions to come.

Within a few days after more strange looks and vague questions by her very suspicious mother the ‘monthly period’ subject was suddenly brought up again.   The answer this time was an unconvincingly.   “I can’t remember!”   Of course now Dawn had an obvious ‘bit of a lump’ in her tummy and questions of.  “You haven’t been doing anything have you?”   Were quickly denied by a now quite worried and stressed Dawn.

Dawn naively thought if she snapped back at her mother’s questions that would end them.  All it did was delay things for a short while

It was duly announced the following day by her mother that an appointment at the doctors had been made to see what could ever be wrong with Dawn.  The doctor’s appointment was towards the end of that week.

The dreaded Doctors appointment came.  Then the big lump of shit hit the fan with almighty force.  After a short listening of the details and a bit of prodding around.  The doctor was 99% certain that the missed periods and now prominent lump in Dawn’s tummy was the result of a teenage pregnancy.

Dawn’s mother actually seemed surprised. Dawn was in shock and of course didn’t know how it could have possibly happened.  Because Dawn of course was still a virgin.  Well so she said and that was her official version anyway.

Obviously when the news was broken to her father.  He kind of went slightly ballistic! ……… and that’s putting it mildly.

There a big shouting row back at home and a thousand demands of.  “Where does that bastard live?!!”   

Dawn was again confined to the house, while her parents jumped into the car and sped off in a cloud of dust.  Burning rubber to drive at break neck speed the next five miles to Peter’s parents house.

Peter was out with me and our other friends at a football match. He actually had no idea that all this was happening on this particular night.  He had knowledge of the soon to be doctor’s appointment, but wasn’t sure what night.  He was eager to talk to Dawn as soon as possible after this appointment to find out what the doctor had said.  But because he had not seen her for a few days.  He didn’t know the actual night of the doctor’s appointment.

Back at his house. Peter’s mother had answered the door to a couple of not very happy strangers wanting to know where her son was.  The two strangers then starting to rant about what her son had done to their daughter.  It wasn’t long before Peter’s mother understood their problem and invited them into her house to hear the rest of their story.

Peter’s mother was numb with this news and knew nothing about any of it. Until of course now.  Even though she had got on very well with Dawn who had spent a number of days at her house in her presence.  Peter’s mother had been oblivious to the fact that Dawn wasn’t supposed to have a boyfriend.  She also had no idea that Dawn shouldn’t be at anybody’s house except her own on the demands of her father.

Peter’s mother also didn’t know that the two teenagers had been up to all sorts of activities in the house while she had been at work.  But now she realised what the two little lovers had been doing and it wasn’t school homework.

Anyway after a few cups of tea it was revealed by Dawn’s parents they that they were going to see about a termination of their daughter’s pregnancy.  They would duly let her know what the results were going to be.  This they could do without anybody’s permission because Dawn was of the age to be under her parent’s control and supervision.  She wasn’t yet 16 years old.

When Peter came home later that night he soon found out that the shit had hit the fan and the building was well and truly blazing away with a vengeance.

After the shouting and lecture from his mother, Peter was then told that Dawn’s parents were due back in a few days.  This was going to be after they had been to see somebody about a termination.  Nobody could interfere with this because of Dawn’s age.

This news was met with mixed reaction from Peter.  In one way it would be an end to this problem.  But he also knew that in another way the main original problem would not go away and could get even worse.  Dawn may not be allowed out of the house to see him ever again.  Neither would she ever have a normal teenage life.  He was very concerned for Dawn as to what she actually wanted to do.

As the days went past, there was a knock on Peter’s parent’s door.  When his mother answered, two now familiar visitors were invited in.  The news was given to her that the termination was to go ahead and it was going to cost basically  the same as a person’s full week’s wage.  Approximately £50.00.

It was pointed out to her that her son Peter had done all the damage.  So there was now a demand that her son must pay all of the costs.

With this news Peter’s mother rummaged through her savings and handed over the money to Dawn’s parents that they had wanted that same night.

Dawn’ parents had given his mother a message that if Peter was seen by them.  He was in big trouble. Dawn’s father said he didn’t know if he would be able to control himself.  Peter’s mother thought it was best to let him get it out of his system and say nothing.  But no one was going to touch her son.

So now Dawn wasn’t allowed out of the house and under strict supervision.  Peter was unable to meet Dawn or to find out what was going on in the coming days.  But the termination went ahead as planned by her parents and as soon as possible.

Love Is The Drug

One day, a few weeks later when Dawn had started back at school.  Peter was eaten up with worry and just had to see Dawn and talk to her.  He blurted out his worries to me one day when he could hold it in no more.  He was distraught and desperate.

So I gave him a lift on my motorbike to see her.  We arrived at Dawn’s school when she was leaving for home and the two lovers were able to talk in secret for about 15  minutes while waiting for her bus home.  It was the first time they had met since the termination had taken place.

It was a tearful reunion.  She was under a strict curfew at home.  The termination was over and they needed to talk.  So it was arranged between them both that they meet and discuss what had gone on.

They were always very clever in ways to see each other.  So the next day she left school at around 10.00 am in the morning claiming that she felt ill and needed to return home. But she then met up with Peter at his parent’s house as his parents were at work.  When they met it was very intense where they talked, cried and talked a lot more.

Dawn said that she had been taken to some special clinic to see a doctor.  She had to see the doctor on her own in his consulting room away from anybody else’s influences.  The doctor asked her what she wanted to do with the pregnancy.  Whether she wanted to keep the baby or have the pregnancy terminated.

But she was under strict instructions.  She had been told before she went in to see the doctor by her father. …. ‘That she was in no way having the baby!’  …. ‘If she told the doctor anything other than she wanted a termination. Then she would be taken into care and that could be until she was adult at 18!’

So Dawn basically had no choice.  She was still just 15 and had to go and tell the doctor that she wanted to end her pregnancy.  There was going to be no other end to this situation and this is exactly what happened.

A couple of days later the termination went ahead and within a few days she was up on her feet and back to normal.  Except now she was confined to the house with the strictly enforced rulings.  That she goes to school, she comes home and she stops in the house. ………. And that’s it !!!

Peter told his mother that he had met up with Dawn.  His mother immediately let him know she wasn’t at all too pleased to hear this news.  He told her that Dawn had been taken to a clinic and also told his mother the name of the clinic and what her father had said to her before she went in to see the doctor.  So Dawn had no choice in the matter.

Peter’s mother didn’t say a word and strangely appeared to be not too pleased with this news.  But then she told him to keep away from Dawn and not be with her anymore.  He never did listen to his mother and would always do what he wanted.  So his mothers seemingly wise words landed on Peter’s deaf ears.

Peter had no intention of stopping seeing Dawn.  In fact this had made both of them more determined to be with each other which they soon did as often as possible.

There Goes My First Love

As the weeks went by school had ended for the annual holidays.  Dawn and Peter would meet whenever they could.  They achieved this even if was just for 10 minutes or so when she had gone out to town and fetched shopping.

Sometimes when her parents had gone out Dawn sneaked out to meet Peter.  Everything was just as usual for them except they were doubly cautious of being seen together by the wrong people.  Peter noticed that Dawn was a lot happier.  He just assumed it was because, she didn’t have that huge cloud hanging over her.  Even though being together was a problem.

Me and Peter had now started work at my dad’s factory.  Part of our training in this work was that we went to college one day a week.  At first we both traveled to college on my motorbike.  But after a while Peter would not bother with college or just leave at lunchtime.  He was of course meeting Dawn at his house when it was empty and his parents at work.   This was all unknown to my father at the time.  Only I knew what was going on and sworn to secrecy.

He did the odd college day over the next few months.  But on one particular Monday night when coming home from college we were quite late as we had been for a mad fast ride on my motorbike.  I dropped Peter off and before I could leave Peter came back out and said.   “Come on let’s go to the pub.”  To which I thought was an extremely good idea.

When we got there Peter was very down so I asked him.  “What’s up?”  

He said.  “Nothing mate.  Me mom has her funny’s on again and I have had enough of her.  I am pissed off with living there.  I want a place of my own so me and Dawn can be together.”

So I asked.  “Why what’s up with your mom to piss you off so much?”

He replied.  “I don’t know mate.  She has just got her moods on again.  I just had to get out of the house.”

The next day it was work again for Peter and just before he was about to leave the house his mother’s reason for her moods became apparent.  She stopped Peter leaving and said sharply.  “You do know that Dawn is pregnant again?”

To which he just replied totally shocked.  “No!”  and thought she was joking and asked why she said this.

His mother then said.  “That while you were at college last night.  Dawn’s father had turned up at the house and told her the news.”

Peter had to leave as he would be late for work as my dad’s patience was wearing thin with him and his attitude to work.  So this amazing conversation was quickly cut short and he went to work confused at this news.

He had seen Dawn a number of times and they had only had sex once or possibly twice from his memory.  But because of her being pregnant recently they were extremely careful.  Peter couldn’t remember if they used contraception at the time.  He was sure they did as they didn’t want a repeat of recent events.

Peter was completely puzzled by all of this and tried his best to get in touch with Dawn.  This was proving to be impossible at this point.  He remembered.  She had sent him a message via her friend. There was something very important she had to tell him.  But he had put this meeting off.   He now realised he shouldn’t have.  He also remembered she had become quite depressed again of late and her tearful days had returned.  It all kind of made a little sense to him now and he kicked himself for not going to meet her.

Back at Dawn’s house no time was being wasted by her parents.  After one quick visit to Peter’s mother again.  His mother was informed just a few days later that Dawn had already been in the clinic and had a second termination.  All of this happening within the same week of the news breaking.

She was in less than 3 months to be 16 and legally would not be under her parents control and supervision.  She had stayed on for an extra year at school to get more qualifications.  Dawn and Peter had no money or anything really.  It all happened so quickly.  Like a whirlwind. Peter was in no position with her parents to ask questions or even speak to them.  Her father had actually said to a friend we knew to pass on this message.  “He would kill Peter if he caught him.”

A few weeks went by with no sign or message from Dawn.  Peter tried to contact her without success.  One day we quickly rode past her house on my motorbike for a sign of her or even just someone we knew to get a message to her.

There was a big shock.  We discovered that her home was up for sale and in fact Dawn and her family had already moved out just a few days earlier.

Peter and me started intense investigations to where Dawn and her family were.  He discovered over the coming days and weeks that her father had taken a position in his work abroad and quickly moved the family with him.  No doubt recent events had somehow swayed his decision in that direction to up sticks and go.

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted

That appeared to be it for the two teenage lovers.  The end of a relationship which was very intense but doomed by others demands and unfolding events.  Peter tried in vain for more information but drew a blank every time.

Peter was a young teenager and was repeatedly told by elders  that he had all his life in front of him.  So forget this year and move on.  At first he begrudgingly listened. But then later moved on with his life.

Over the years he had many other girlfriends and was just a normal young man.  In fact he had so many other girlfriends and enjoyed his young years.  It appeared that Dawn was just a long distant memory.

He never heard from Dawn again and she faded to the back of his mind visited less and less over the years.  She was only visited when an old song or other memory reminded him of those days.  They were now sad days.  Unexplained days.  They were not nice and not the ones to think about too often.

About 10 years later a chance meeting in a pub and it was Dawn.  They were both shocked and speechless at first.  But after a few minutes the smiles appeared and they started to chat freely but very awkwardly.

Dawn told Peter she was now married with two kids and was living in a nearby town.  Her dad had been killed in a car crash a few years back while they were living in South Africa and her mother and sister lived close to her.

Peter was dying to talk about those days and when she suddenly disappeared.  He wanted to know.  His intense feelings for her immediately returned.  His heart was racing as fast as the thoughts whizzing through his head.  But he forced himself not to say a word and not mention that raw and extremely painful time.

It took every bit of his strength to not speak about those times and ask those so important questions.  He was in fact bursting at the seams restraining himself.  Trying to smile and make conversation with Dawn about anything other than those days.

After what seemed like minutes.  The other girls who were with Dawn on her night out beckoned and needed her to rejoin them as they were leaving.   So the chance meeting quickly drew to an end and those important questions were never asked.

As Dawn walked away from Peter.  He noticed that she looked back and he could see pain etched on her face as she tried to smile to say goodbye to him.  He wanted to run after her.  But he knew he couldn’t and forced himself to stay where he was until the pub closed.  It was excruciating for him but essential and he barely managed it.

In the next coming days, Dawn never left his thoughts.  He was tempted to go and find her.  He knew if he did this a whole landslide of events would unfold and more lives would be ruined as she was married now with kids.   Over the years in his mind he had actually taken the blame for what happened to them both when they were together.  It was all his fault for getting her pregnant.  He should have been more careful was his belief.   The only way now was to not have anything to do with her and follow the path in his life that he is taking now.

They never saw much of each other again except on two rare passing accidental meetings.  They would just wave or say hello.  But never stop and talk, as other people were present with either one of them. It was very hard but necessary.  It would just be a complete mess.  He knew that as their lives were elsewhere now.  Then that was it.  Peter never saw her again and lost touch completely.

Money Money Money

Throughout the years, whenever Dawn came into Peter’s mind. He could never work out those teenage years or what the actual truth was.  It was always very confusing for him because looking back none of it made sense.  Especially now as the years had gone by and the past had become foggy and unclear.

He often wondered if he should have talked with Dawn about it.  But it was also not the time or place in his life that he ever wanted to revisit.

As he thought about all those days and things. He had decided it was not a nice time and best not remembered.  So any time spent thinking and puzzling over that long ago situation was just too troublesome for him.  The answer was to quickly push it all out of his mind.  So he could concentrate on just day-to-day living and get on with his life.

Over the following years Peter had long been married to a lovely girl called Sue.  What had happened to Dawn was unknown except what he already knew that she had children with someone long ago.  By this time he knew nothing else about her.  Where she was or whether she was alive or dead.

Many more years went by.  At least thirty five in total. Then one day the news was confirmed to Peter that his mother could no longer look after herself.

His father had already died five years earlier and also now her erratic behaviour was giving cause for concern.  The doctors had diagnosed the beginnings of dementia for Peter’s mother who was now almost 80 years old.  It was decided that it was best she went into a care home to be looked after.

While waiting for a place in the care home he had chosen for his mother.  This next conversation took place between his mother and my old mate Peter while she still had some of her good days.

During his conversations with his mother they became at times confusing and hard.  But then on some days it was as if nothing was wrong with her and she could remember everything.  “As bright as a new pin she was some days.”  Peter said.

One day during a visit she surprised Peter and started to talk to him about that time when he was with Dawn.  Peter’s mother told him the story of how Dawn’s father had come back to see her on his own about the second pregnancy.  Dawn’s father was demanding that his mother pays another £50.00 to pay for her second termination.

But Peter’s mother had told Dawn’s father that she was not giving him anymore money and he would get nothing else from her and sent him packing.

Peter asked.  “Really Mother. Why what went on?”

Peter’s mother said.  “I told Dawn’s father that I had discovered about the clinic where Dawn had the first abortion.  It was a special clinic where abortions are free of charge.   They were free because Dawn had an underage pregnancy.  I had already given him £50.00 for that termination.  But I shouldn’t have given him any money at all. There was no need, because there was no cost to him or anybody.

He had to admit this to me.  So I told him that he had in fact conned me out of my money.  So when he had turned up this second time demanding money again.  I told him to get lost and that I was giving him no more money.”

Peter was surprised at all of this and thought this stubborn act was quite good of his mother the way she had stood up to somebody like that.  Then he said to her.  “You were very brave.  I had no idea that Dawn’s father had been actually demanding money from you.”

But then Peter’s mother replied.   “That wasn’t the real reason why I refused to give him anymore money!  I told him and I ran him out of my house!  I was bloody right to do so as well!”  Peter’s mother’s face is contorted with disgust as she turns away from Peter.

A puzzled Peter said.   “Oh but why?  So what was the real reason you refused to give Dawn’s father money?  If it wasn’t because of that first clinic being free of charge. Then why?”

Peter’s mother didn’t say anything and just sat in silence, deliberately staring away from Peter with a stern expression on her aged wrinkled face.  So Peter again asked.   “Come on mum.  Why?  If you didn’t refuse him more money for the termination.  Then what was your real reason?”

Peter’s mother turned to face him and replied strongly.  “You used to tell me back in those days, that Dawn’s father was bloody horrible to her and he would never let her out of the house?”

“That’s true.”   Peter replied.  “I remember.  Yes he was always stopping her from going out.  He couldn’t stand me.  He once sent a message saying he would kill me if he caught me. He was a strange one really.  Not a nice man to say the least.”

Peter’s mother paused a little longer and then said.   “Do you remember when you were quite ill that time?  I think it was not long before you met that Dawn.  You were about 15.  You had that hernia operation and it all went bad with an infection.”

Peter stopped and thought for a while and said.   “Yeah I remember. In hospital for weeks I was.  I couldn’t walk properly for ages.  It hurt like hell.  Why?”

Peter’s mother then added.   “You and Susan  (Peter’s wife)  never had any children did you and you are both too old now aren’t you?”

Peter replied.  “Well it’s just one of those things I suppose they just never came along for me and Susan.  But what has that got to do with what we are talking about?”

Peter’s mother then said.   “Well all that extra surgery you had and the following infection caused other problems.  The doctor told us that it would be years before you would be normal down there and fertile. It would take a long time to all settle down.  In fact they were concerned that you may never be fertile again.”

Peter was taken back and thought about this for a while and said.  “Yes I remember!  Didn’t mean anything at the time as everything was still working ok so I thought all was normal again. 

Me and Susan never had any tests as we never really planned for kids! …. We just went with the flow! ….  Anyway I never ever thought it was anything to do with me!  …. Because Dawn getting pregnant all those years ago.  I thought everything was normal again!  …….  Bloody hell! …. I just never thought about that!”

Then Peter’s mother interrupts him and says loudly almost shouting it at Peter.  “Well son!  You should be able to guess why now!  I went back and asked the doctors about you after her fathers first visit.  I thought it was all very strange.  The doctors said it was extremely remote! …… and that’s the reason why I wouldn’t give that disgusting!  .… Vile man!  …. Any more money!”

……………..

Rosie

………………………………………………………………………………………….

No reproduction of this story in part or in its entirety is allowed anywhere – for any reason – or at any time without prior permission of the owner/author.  … Rosie.

© Rosie 2018 – 2019